1) Create sock puppets – Copy the example of Cllr ben Grower , caught out today for creating an anonymous username to post comments on the Daily Echo website and then using this account to praise himself and fellow councillors.

Special deals on reduced honesty – whip up your very own social media storm by getting caught out, what are you waiting for?

(Ed: Not only was he caught because he used an email address with his name in it (duuuh), he then denied he was involved – his dishonesty is really quite shocking.)

2) Place you fingers in your ears and sceam “la la la la la” – A sure fire way of failing to market yourself and your business online is not to listen.

Follow the lead of industry giants like Sony, ignore the build up of sentiment by just sticking your fingers in your ears and screaming… you’ll feel grrrreat and if you’re really lucky and you continue doing this long enough, you too could have a class action law suit!

3) Boast boast boast! Want to be the envy of everyone? Don’t bother actually being the best, just tell everyone you’re the best… boasting, worked great for Matt Bacak.

(Ed: actually he has got a lot of press…)

But wait… we’ll throw in one more bonus never-fails to fail tidbit for FREE, yes FREE

4) SPAM SPAM SPAM – Don’t bother engaging with your audience, just shout at them enough – never fails to fail.

Social Tech Solutions is an ethical Social Media Marketer – terms and conditions apply – things in this post may be satirical, if in doubt you should consult your nearest village idiot.